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Are You Ready for Your Metamorphosis?

Spiritual journeys are not for the faint of heart. When you make the decision to investigate the life you've been living, and engage in self-examination, you may not realize that you are about to step off a very steep cliff. As you descend into this self-imposed abyss, you will have to accept some uncomfortable new situations into your life. This adventure brings with it some difficult paths to navigate, and some you may not have anticipated, not least of which is loneliness.

I have embarked on this spiritual pilgrimage slowly. After spending years feeling a bit different, somewhat like an observer in this game called life and not quite fitting in, I realized that there was something missing. It was clear to me that there had to be more meaning to this existence than just accumulating the latest trends and the newest iPhone. It all seemed a bit shallow and uninspiring. Yet, I couldn't quite put my finger on what was causing this uncomfortable restlessness inside me.

Always a student of the esoteric, I was reading Wayne Dyer and Joseph Campbell books while still in high school.  I spent my twenties attending psychic circles, utilizing Ouija boards, obtaining tarot card readings and learning the arts of meditation and reiki. Though I didn't know it at the time, I was on a mission to connect with my inner being...my soul. If you had asked me back then, I would've most likely just said I thought it was interesting, having not yet connected the dots. There were signs along the way that there was something to all of it, however, something beyond what could be seen with the naked eye.

During one psychic circle when I was 30, I was singled out by the woman running the event. At the time, I had no idea that I was a few weeks pregnant. When she got my attention, the psychic told me that I was going to have a little girl. She also said that she envisioned the child running around outside and that she hid behind a tree, popping out multiple times to say "look at me, look at me!" For any of you who know Abby, this is a very accurate description of her outgoing personality, saying nothing about the 14 years she spent doing drama! Though everyone felt I was having a boy for nine months, and both her father and I are fairly shy, she had been right about the pregnancy, the sex of the child, and she nailed her uninhibited personality. Though I was already a believer of the unexplainable, this experience solidified my faith in all things mysterious.

As I got older, I continued my fascination with anything that had to do with personal development, but I never felt that I actually had a handle on what it meant to transform like all of the great teachers had described. Little did I know that things were about to change. Though I had experienced hardships in my childhood and young adult life, it wasn't until my 40's that things truly fell apart. At the time, I had no idea what was happening to me, I just knew that nothing felt right, and I couldn't go on the way I was living. I would look in the mirror and have no connection to the person reflecting back at me. I was lost.

Over the last seven years, I have experienced a range of difficult emotions including pain, depression, confusion, heartache, anguish, guilt, and shame. Working through all of these feelings has been the most challenging thing I have ever undertaken. It involved going deep inside and introducing myself to me...the real me who I had never known before. I discovered that nearly everything that made up my personality, consisted of things that were taught to me by society and the people closest to me. I knew what was expected of me, and I attempted to fit into that perfect mold. Unfortunately, I had no clue who I was.

After reading countless books, spending numerous hours in meditation and journaling, taking endless inventory of my thoughts and beliefs and shedding many, many tears, I believe that I am beginning to emerge from my cocoon. It is exhilarating to finally have a greater understanding of this mind I possess. My view of the world and the way in which I relate to it have been permanently altered. I now question my beliefs and everything around me and only allow positive things to enter my mind (or at least challenge anything negative).  I also have a greater appreciation and more affection for those who exist on this planet around me. It has been the most challenging, yet one of the most rewarding experiences, though not without some pitfalls. Even so, I highly recommend forging a path into the recesses of your mind, and making the effort to really know yourself.

If you decide to commence your own spiritual journey, understand that not everyone will approve. This voyage will change you...it is meant to change you, but people in your life may resist these changes. You may find that old friendships just don't feel comfortable anymore and people may disappear from your life. The line of work you are in may no longer align with the new person you are becoming. Even attachments to material possessions that once meant so much to you may melt away. This is all normal and part of the process. Think about a butterfly that has completed its transformation...do you ever see it hanging around with caterpillars? It is not that there is anything wrong with the caterpillars, it is just that the butterfly now has a new mission that is not in alignment with the multi-legged creature it used to resemble. It must take flight and explore the world from a new perspective. Some people will choose to accompany you; others may go their own way.

As science confirms more each day that everything is energy, and vibration and frequency truly do control our reality, tapping into your own energetic spirit becomes critical. We are far more powerful than we could ever imagine, but the key is that you must connect to the being that you are at the core. One of the most famous ancient Greek aphorisms is, "Know thyself" and Socrates taught, "The unexamined life is not worth living."  Perhaps this ancient wisdom is something more people could benefit from. So what do you think? Are you ready to take control of your life in a completely new way and find out who you truly are, and your unique purpose for being here? I wish you peace as you go forward in this endeavor, but might I suggest you grab the reigns and hold on tight because it may be a bit of a rough ride.  Just trust that every bump and bruise will be well worth it in the end.


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